Chosen Solution
So there’s this offshore oil rig here, and it won’t stop leaking. Anyone have any suggestions? Already tried putting a pipe on it, didn’t work. And tried clogging it up with tires and golf balls, didn’t work. Now trying to pump fluids and heavy mud into it to stop the flow, but no idea if that will work. Any suggestions are welcome as this is becoming a major problem. Please call: (281) 366-5511 if you have a good suggestion. I don’t have a picture, but I do have a webcam. If we can figure out how to stop this thing we’ll all be famous, so any ideas? Update Pumping mud into it didn’t work, now trying to put another tube on it? Update #2 now trying to put a THIRD dome over it… Update #3 Okay new complication, a ^^*# robot that was supposed to be sawing off a pipe is stuck in there now. Update #4 So now a key pipe has been cut, hopefully this makes things easier Update #5 So now there are some giant underwater plumes appearing, some as large as Rhode Island. Any ideas on how to clear those up?
So the method that’s worked so far is seal by welding a tight metal cap and drill relief wells, I believe then the idea is to bury everything under cement, which sounds like it’d work. Judging by the test results I’ve read, this method is working and will continue to work and this should be the solution. Obviously a further preventative measure that should work would be to shut down all offshore rigs (or why not onshore as well?). It’d also probably not be a good idea to then appoint the head of BP in the Gulf as its CEO. But oh well, I hope they follow some advice and this never happens again. Long live renewable energy.
I have a serious solution, this is my dad’s company, Mobius Technologies, and they have been trying to get known so they can be heard and finally clean up this whole mess. Please pass on the word and video through facebook or anything you can to help. They have two demo videos here is one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFNOnI3M_… Thanks
Nuke it.
Gosh, I’m surprised no one has suggested the obvious answer: Chuck Norris. He could swim down and blow the oil back into the hole.
Use the Large Hadron Collider to provide a black hole to suck the whole mess up.
How about we use some of the Red Matter from Star Trek to suck the oil back into the core of the earth? Oh wait- that might cause some other problems…
lots of bubble gum
I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am a driller. Although, the deepest hole that I ever drilled was 300 feet, I have an idea. I hope that I don’t embarrass myself. I suggest dropping a large diameter (4’ to 10’) casing to the sea floor, over top of the well. I know that it will take a long time to weld the casing together, not to mention finding a mile of it, but hear me out. By the way, my idea can’t be all that much worse than using golf balls and rubber to plug it. The weight of the casing will be enormous, so when the weight of the casing has reached 1/2 the capacity of the crane lowering it, start adding air bags to offset the weight. Once the casing hits bottom, use the submersibles to start releasing the airbags. Hopefully the weight of the casing will make it sink deep into the ocean floor and oil will be diverted to the surface. Upper airbags can be left to help keep the casing upright and relatively stable. The oil could then be loaded into a barge or ship and removed. Tremie pipes, or grouting and flushing pipes could be installed on the entire length of casing to jet the casing deeper in to formation at the ocean floor and then used to grout (cement). Head pressure in an obstacle, but will basically only be the weight of the oil inside the casing (don’t forget to subtract the weight of the outside sea water from that, and the added weight of up-hole velocity restriction (line loss). This approach could possibly make it more difficult to stop or shutoff the well, but it may make is easier since there is a clear path to the wellhead. I have dropped 16" casing into a well and welded it together. It can take two guys .5 t. 75 hours, so I know that this will be tough, if not impossible. Just something that I was thinking of on the way home from work. I’m sure that the rocket scientists have already thought of it. Not the first time that I thought that I invented something that has already been invented.
So much BS has come from BP, I say take that BS and plug the leak!!
Tell the Saudis that we’re switching to the “Pickens Plan”, http://www.pickensplan.com/act/ to wind power on a massive scale and natural gas. They’ll get it plugged in a hurry! Where’s Red Adair when you need him? http://www.redadair.com/
Using an explosion would cause incredible damage because water does not compress. It would kill sea life for hundreds of miles. The best solution is to corral the leak and pump the oil into containers. BP is talking about siphoning. This shows how stupid they really are. Look up “siphoning”.
You can make a hurricane go thru the affected area, thus picking up all the oil, so it will be a part of the hurricane. Also its summer time so its hurricane season! Then where there are hurricanes, there are charged electrons everywhere, thus LIGHTNING Lightning (spark, source of heat)+oil in the air=kaboom Sure, it’ll destroy a lot of things, but hey! the oil is contained!!! Please click here for a illustrated representation of what I am proposing
There really aren’t too many permanant solutions, BP claims that the only way to stop the leak is to drill a “Relief Well” which gives the oil annother place to leave the ground.
first of all: dont let BP dril in your back garden… call Harry S. Stamper. he and his team have stopped the whole asteroid on its steps to Earth, so i think, one small oil rig should be piece of pi*s for them… i have no idea, hows that drill done, but drilling another one, to ease the pressure seems to be a good idea. also, they could pump down a lot of mud to stop it from leaking…
I’m thinking a robotic welder, high amperage and gas to control scope and metal rod feed. A lot of metal rod feeding into the well casing, then shock it for a weld. Worth a try if such a device exists, or one can be built or modified.
Blame Canada.
Use toxic waste, when its corrosive enough it might close the well and if not the oil is not the main problem anymore. P.S. Blame the UK as BP means British Petrol. It could be a late revenge for the Boston Tea Party. Now its the Gulf Oil Party.
Position a large Cylindrical steel “CAPNUT” Over it equipped with 5 rocket engines (four around the circumference angled upward slightly and a fifth at the top). Using a controlled burn fire all five engines simultaneously driving it down and screwing it over the wellhead. wellhead sealing nut solution Proposed by Dan Terry, Austin, TX
Have Mario goomba-stomp the leek.
My personal idea is to launch such a bloated PR campaign it plugs the hole. Otherwise, redirect a meteoroid using nukes (that goes along with eliminating waste- getting rid of nukes), and direct it directly on top of the well, the force would be so great that it would destroy the well and the molten meteorite plus bedrock would seal a cap over the now-buried well. Somehow I don’t think that one Senator’s idea of throwing beer-making ingredients in there will work though.
B + P = Big Problems
All serious and not-so-serious answers aside, the simplest answer is to NOT DRILL in the first place. Sure, lots of people (especially the oil companies) will say “OK, Mr. Smarty-Pants, where do we get our energy sources from if we don’t drill for oil??” To those folks I say: Solar, wind, wave, geothermal and other emerging technologies can be utilized instead of fossil fuels. Some people push nuclear power as an alternative but I don’t because it has the potential for global problems on a grander scale than fossil fuels. Narrow-minded thinking has gotten us into this predicament and that same type of thinking is not going to get us out. BILL
Crimp the pipe coming out of the ground in a few places using the JAWS OF LIFE !! BP
Contain the bulk of the leak source with a 12’ to 20’ dia hollow screw shaped like a flower pot but without the bottom. Position 4 to 6 rockets near the top pointing slightly downward that are somehow deactivated after a certain screwed depth through the sea floor is reached. The top of the flower pot would have to have attachments for making a connection.
I’ll bet Mario can fix it: http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3cudu…
Put 4.2 billion shrimp in the oil and the whales will eat the oil with the shrimp. That’s were whale oil comes from
